IMOGEN (2020) FILM REVIEW
Trigger Warning: Mental health, suicide, addiction, self-harm, eating disorders.
‘Imogen’ (2020) directed by Lola Young and Matt Shea, is a short film that follows Diane and Allegra Goldie as they reflect on the life of Imogen Saskia Goldie-Wells, who took her own life with her husband Rob on the 31st of December 2016. A raw account of grief as Imogen’s family sift through the catalogue of thoughts that she left behind for them. The film takes an intimate look into 20 years of Imogen’s life laid out in music, journals and sketchbooks that entrusted them to bring to the world.
Produced by Margo Mars and Alma Har’el, this film is not your conventional exploration of mental health. From the very beginning, Imogen is just...different. It steps outside the conventional boundaries of documentaries surrounding suicide and addiction. Imogen’s story is told with an atypical flair which is something entirely necessary in the story telling of those we have lost to suicide. The film’s intentional duration length reflects how it feels to lose someone so great too soon. Not a single detail is left untouched.
A still from Imogen (2020)
Imogen’s story is told with direct reference to parts of a short story she wrote herself in 2008: ‘The Strange Tale of the Mothenfolk’, quoted here:
“A married couple in their late forties, had one day come to the conclusion that in their dissatisfaction with human life- it would be better for them to become moths. Despite being parents of two children, a girl aged eleven and a boy aged eight, they were to pursue their dream with the help of a recent scientific breakthrough that allowed them to both shrink down considerably in size and sprout fully-functional wings. The only downside to this being they would no longer be able to communicate with other humans- their children included, of course. The couple accepted this eventuality as a small sacrifice for the peace and freedom of moth-like existence. The children would have to find a way to cope without them and would likely grow up to be strong, independent adults.”
A still from Imogen (2020) showing Imogen’s notebook.
Imogen’s mind from a very young age was full to the brim with profound self-reflections and a relentless desire to understand herself and the world around her. As time goes on Imogen’s diaries become more melancholy with the observations that she is struggling to connect with those around her. The Strange Tale of The Mothenfolk is revealed to be not a short story as much as it is a solution to the ongoing battle that was navigating a neurotypical world. Make no mistake - Imogen did absolutely everything within her power to stay here - and this is shown in the documentary.
It is clear to see that this film isn’t just a story about Imogen - this is Imogen. It’s her own story, told through her own perspective - something so few films can truly capture posthumously - and this makes for an authentic and memorable tribute that fluctuates between deafening silence and manic sensory overloads. The details through which her mind and her mental journey are conveyed are as complex as Imogen herself (so much so that this will require an entirely different piece of writing). The film dips into double exposures and overlapping audio - the viewer is fully submerged in the intricacies of Imogen’s mind, and you’ll find yourself sweating trying to keep up with every thought that disappears as quickly as it came.
Imogen (2020)
Actress Jessamine Bliss-Bell - who plays Imogen in the re-enactments - embodied Imogen perfectly. Jessamine just naturally and authentically represented Imogen in this film. Her walk, her subtleties, her energy - all of it. A truly incredible performance and a testament to the detailed direction of Lola Young - who worked closely with the Goldie family to ensure the portrayal of her was as accurate as possible.
Jessamine Bliss Bell and Max Rinehart in Imogen (2020)
The Invisible Box drawn by Imogen Saskia Goldie-Wells
In a cinematic landscape where late musicians and artists’ struggles are romanticised beyond honest comprehension, this film candidly presents the reality of this familiar situation. It degrades the makeup of how we approach death and it shows the painful reality from Imogen’s perspective, of living with a constant mental overload and not being able to communicate with the world by neurotypical standards. “I think I might have Asperger’s”, she reflects. She speaks of an “invisible box” that she lived inside, where she could see love outside it’s glass walls but not reach out to touch it. She did not feel at the time she was worthy of love. A heartbreaking and emotionally testing concept.
The film tackles several of the most complicated subjects to respectfully explore including eating disorders, self-harm and addiction. An integral aspect of this film is her younger sister Allegra’s own personal accounts of dealing with the grief of outliving her older sister. “Pain is called pain for a fucking reason”. Diane acknowledges that she just didn’t know how to fix certain things. A near impossible surrender for any parent struggling to wrap their head around what their child is going through. The honest interviews of Diane and Allegra cast light on how family units are left behind to deal with suicide.
The story develops and we learn that Imogen suffered with addiction issues later in her life. All else had failed. She had discovered heroin. She wanted to destroy her own vulnerability, and as is common in creative industries she discovered substances that dulled the aches of trying to fit yourself into a society where you don’t feel you belong. Imogen’s story is not an isolated event. Diane tearfully reflects on pinnacle moments in Imogen’s life where she had been given medication for her mental health issues - but they did not help. In popular media and journalism, taking medications for a mental illness have become normalised with far less stigma - this film importantly acknowledges that medication doesn’t always help.
Imogen found her own medication in the form of heroin. A nevertheless refreshing take is how the film shows addiction. There is no upside to the addiction. There is no “but she produced great music” which seems to be the rhetoric that follows musicians around when they become dependent on substances. The film cuts the bullshit. This is no joke, and there are no winners. How much heroin helped Imogen is summarised perfectly in her very own words: “give me that raw hard pain over that cold numb nothing every time”.
Diane states that on the last occasion she saw her daughter - she was unable to help her with her addiction because Imogen just couldn’t tell her. This is an all too real message: if you do not tell someone, they cannot help. There is a deep shame associated with substance abuse, perpetuated not only through its criminalisation but also in how society responds to addicts. This film casts that aside and focuses only on untangling the psyche of what led to the addiction in the first place. And all too often, the lead up to an addiction is ignored in favour of the gorey details of what occurs in active addiction for entertainment purposes.
‘Imogen’ (2020) holds up a mirror to the viewer and the question it seeks to ask is “Do you see yourself here?”. If so it presents an invaluable jumping point for discussions around self harm, addiction and suicidal ideation.
This film is not a performative exploration of mental health - and believe me, it shows. Even the film’s initial release mirrored the true care that was taken to tell Imogen’s story properly. The team held virtual screenings via Zoom on May 12th, 14th, 21st and 28th highlighting May Mental Health Awareness Week. After the showing a panel was available to not only answer questions but the dialogue for open-hearted reflections were held immediately. Viewers were given a safe space to share their own thoughts on how ‘Imogen’ made them feel.
“We thought especially of all the ‘Imogens’ out there, in quarantine.” Margo tells me. “Doing the virtual screenings revealed how much the subject touches people, and that we will do more in the future. If anyone is moved by the subject and would like us to organise one for them, they can reach out.” The way that the viewers so far have responded to ‘Imogen’ has spoken volumes.
From one of the viewings, “a successful career woman who had in her youth attempted suicide various times got in touch. She wrote she was so sad to see this and yet it made her feel so grateful she managed to get out, and know with certainty now, seeing the film, that it wasn’t for her (she had still thought of it as an option now and then). Somehow watching the film made her feel that it wasn’t an option and never should be. A wake up.” This example of emotional response to the film mirrors my own personal observations. It is a beautiful, but tragic cautionary tale. A reality check. Its thoughtful navigation of tough triggers makes it a worthwhile watch if you’re struggling. No glamorisation, no bullshit.
“People who can relate to the short and who it can impact in such a way are definitely the ones we want it to reach - so the work we as producers have is to make sure they know it exists and where it can be found.” says Margo. ‘Imogen’ will premiere at AMDOCS in Palm Springs, California between September 25th-29th. The producers are working to bring the film to the right audiences and are hoping to partner with major streaming platforms to get ‘Imogen’ to a mainstream audience - something I conclude is an absolute necessity, especially during the isolation of a pandemic.
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